show terminology.... humor involved..

For those new to showing and breeding some essential terminology you shouldknow!!!

Dog Show Terms Explained!

Angulation-Degree to which dog handlers will bend over backwards to impressjudges.


Balance-

(a) How to arrange the checkbook so your husband won't know how muchmoney you spent on dog shows last month. Usually done in the bathroomwith the door locked;(

b) Ability to hold coffee, danish, leash, treats and entry form allat once.

Bitch-(a) Proper name for a female dog;

(b) Name often heard at dog shows, not always to describe a femaledog.

Blind Retrieve-When you can't see the toy under the furniture.

CGC-Canine Gastrointestinal Catastrophe {aka GAS}

Coat-The hairy covering of a dog that usually falls out about one weekbefore the Specialty show.


Crabbing-What you do when the judge doesn't like your dog.

Dam-

(a) A female dog with puppies;

(b) Expression frequently overheard at dog shows as losers leave thering.


Distemper-Shown by those competitors who just lost to someone they can't stand.

Dog-To chase a judge from show to show in an effort to attain more breedwins.

Double Bind-Finding two toys under the furniture.

Elbow-Method of getting to ringside quickly when late.


Expression-"Sweet" look adopted by hungry dogs while staring ravenously at chunksof liver.


Fancier-Degree to which some gentlemen handlers dress more than others.


Feathering-What winners are accused of doing to judges' nests.


Force Fetch-Dog drops the toy under furniture, scratches at the carpet until you'reforced to "fetch" it.


Front-Part of the dog often facing the outside of the ring.


Guard Hair-An activity in which one watches intently as the dog's hair falls out, inclumps, just after entries are mailed.

Heel-(a) What you feel like when your dog beats the one you had just sold to aneager novice;
(b) Expression often screamed to attract the attention of deaf dogs.


Hock-A way of financing your dog shows by the use of jewelry such as weddingrings.

Kennel-Where you go when the kids fight and your husband is in one of his moods.

Litter-Trash left all over the building and parking lot after a dog show.


Mask-What to wear when you have to show your gorgeous pick of the litter thatfell apart a week before the show.


Muzzle-What to put on your kids at a dog show to prevent them from calling yourcompetition what they overheard you call him last night.


Noseprints-Cute marks left all over your French doors.


Outcrossing-What your husband tells the minister you are doing out in the kennel withthe dog and the bitch.


Overshot-Running so fast as to pass the 1st place ring marker and plow into the judgeand the stewards.


Pedigree-Dog food with lots of coupons.


Points-Minute, invisible awards for winning which you cannot convince your spouseare more important than cash prizes.


Puppies-Small, dog like food-processing machines with the ability to stink up anentire house and collectively deafen a band of magpies. (These creatureshave not yet been perfected, as they come with leaky systems, and can alsobe dangerous to weak hearts and bank accounts.)

Qualifying Score-Justifying the 170.5 you got in obedience today.


Ribbons-What competitive exhibitors with distemper (see above) will cut you intowhen your dog places over theirs.


Specialty-Whatever your dog is good at, like bringing home branches or chewing on walls.


Type-What your dog has... if you turn down the lights and squint a little.


Utility-The kind of vehicle you need to haul around your dogs.

Posted by Jackie Linke